sarah the bitch

im reaching a state of depression from looking into my future and realising that i have to work for the rest of my life. like, what if after i graduate, i realise that i don't like what i'm doing. okay, my day just got a bit better cos pretty kim just gave me a slice of damn good homemade carrot cake. (: omg yay. ya, i miss school. i just want to stay in school and dance and play judo for the rest of my life, seriously. i miss going for training. going to the nationals indiv was so cool cos it brought back lots of memories. we even saw ma jun, yen lin and the girl who played against siti from ny.

anyway, back to the horrids of my life that is teaching and teaching, i went into a class this morning and was really bad at teaching i bet they didn't learn anything today cos i was so blur and tired that i forgot all the stuff i was supposed to teach, and it didn't help that i didn't have my powerpoint slides. and the thing is i taught them quite straightforward stuff today (ie. formation of deltas, distributaries, floodplains, levees & uses of rivers) so then i didn't know what to do and i was like shit. i had to refer to my notes and practically just read out loud. but 3/5 rocks lah they were so nice and just talked to me and was so encouraging. i really love my students but it's just me! i dont know why i just can't do it. i don't have the talent for this. maybe i have a bit... but i've been so pissed lately that i've successfully convinced myself that i don't. (the carrot cake is helping though...)

yeah so i'm at school now. a bit mixed with regards to my feelings for ij. after realising that the tentative date of jac yip's return is 7 april ie. next monday ie. my birthday, i got hit by this sad bug. i don't really want to leave my kids cos ALL my classes really rock. even the ones that don't like me, they're still really nice people and i love them to bits. but i don't want to waste their few years of education.

but what i really really cannot stand is tuition. yes, the kids rock too and i don't want to waste their education and parent's money too but what really draws the line of distinction is sarah the bitch. she's an insult to ij girls everywhere. she's a snob who thinks she's so great just cos she's got a little more experience (shouldn't she be in uni now?), who flirts with guys 23o839 years younger than her, which is just disgusting. she bosses people around and threw my best friend out of the centre. like, who gave her the authority, willis wasn't even there. and she has absolutely no sense of humour, okay! (said to the rhythm of patrick's "it's not my problem okay!") then she sits in my lesson, i don't know whatever for because my evaluation is not even this week, it's next week. and i'm praying that i fail the evaluation or i'm gonna just ask them to let me go. i don't even want to go to work next week cos its my birthday (yay!) and darling rachel won't be here. i miss her already. miss taiwan. but that's not important. ya anyway, so she evaluates this unnecessary thing then tells me how i need to improve (which i do need to "improve", no fault in that... except i was trying to teach un-funly when she was there. when she left, we had a ball. seriously.) so whatever, so that's not the annoying part. the annoying part was she actually was teaching me how to raise my voice like i'm some sort of dummy who doesn't even know how to do that and the would like perk her eyebrows up and look fierce but actually that just makes her look more piggy-ish. and act all authoritative with this deep voice that makes her look very scary. but she insists that works in getting their attention so they really know you mean it or whatever. i have no problems controlling the class via assertion but i just don't enjoy teaching okay?

so i really think, no, KNOW that i'm gonna quit that dumb place. even though some people like min hao and andrew are nice and i'm always the bitchy one cos im always "tired" (i really have to drag my ass out the door to go for tuition so i'm happen to always be unhappy when i go there), so i totally understand if they hate me. but it's just... teaching is not my thing. in case you all didn't know that, let me emphasize. teaching is not my thing. but i still love kids, more than ever. especially cute fadzes. (: oh by the way, my wonderful sister the good influence told me to "ditch the kid and go watch horton" which i really wanted to do. and ya i have to watch horton soon before it flies away. (sondra!!!!)

so... sorry, sarah, since you're so great at teaching and can look fierce all, you can take over my sessions and show off to everyone, im sure you'd enjoy that. the english teacher who speaks singlish, what a wonderful catch. cos you know we all "respect" and "admire" you and your bitch face and attitude. have fun being a slut paedophile. in hope that next week will be my last time seeing you... see ya, don't wanna be ya!